July 23, 2015 - Keeping parental units on their toes with growth spurts!

Dear Babies Everywhere,

It's time for another moment with Madison. Let's babble about growth spurts. They're so much fun. We can use them as an excuse to "throw off" our schedules and keep our parents awake! In my case, mommy because she's a light sleeper. Daddy would sleep through a train crashing through the house! So when you feel a spurt coming on, refuse to go back to sleep that morning. Follow it up with refusing your regular 11am and 3pm nap. But for good measure take a nap at 1pm. You'll need your energy for the night to come. Maybe even take a 5 minute catnap in your swing. Finally let your parents put you to bed an hour or so early so they think relief is in sight. Wake up screaming at 11pm for a bottle you don't normally drink because you normally sleep from 8:30pm to 4:30am. Next, play. Why needs to go back to sleep? Ok, so you got put in your crib. Sleep for about an hour and fuss. That'll teach mommy! Then you get to go to the big people bed! Doze a little. Mommy thinks the problem is solved. It's now 3am. Scream and cry. Yes, another bottle! Much better. Refuse to sleep again. Get put back in the crib. Start fussing at 6am, get another bottle. Refuse to sleep and instead play with mommy by grabbing her face. Back in my crib again. I'm sleeping hard. Please don't bother me after reading these instructions, I had a hard night keeping my mommy awake who I now understand can't sleep!

Sincerely,

Madison
Future ruler of the world in training!

July 17, 2015 - Food art at it's finest!

Dear Babies Everywhere,

We. MUST! Fight. BACK! Daddy gave me peas last night because mommy told him to. I mean, like, YUCK! So, I gave daddy more grief than I did mommy when she first gave them to me. But I'm getting wiser. In a word, cerealnami! I grabbed that cereal bowl! I grabbed the spoon! I smeared my cereal EVERYwhere! Yup! That's right! I took control of my breakfast table! It's called payback! I don't care that I like cereal! But I had to do something to show mommy who's boss! I did such an excellent job I HAD to get a bath! I think I've won. I bet I don't have to have peas anymore!

Sincerely,

Madison
Future Ruler Of The World In Training

P.S. Oh no! Just heard my mommy tell my daddy I get peas again tonight! It didn't work! Crawl away! Crawl away!!!!!!!!!!

July 15, 2015 - I'm officially a foodie!

Dear Babies Everywhere,

WE. NEED. TO. TALK. About peas. Mommy has been keeping me away from electronics but I HAD to sneak in a post! Babies! Be PREPARED! There comes a time when your parents will stick you in this thing called a high hair and feed you food! The cereal isn't so bad, especially if it has bananas and apples in it. But babies, the peas.... Oh my formula! Babies! Crawl away as fast as possible! And if they have you pinned in that high chair, grab that spoon and FLING it! Peas are not yummy! They are bitter and bland and are worse than the taste of spit up! Not to mention the color! They're green! I don't know how I managed to eat almost a whole jar! I didn't fling it and mommy just didn't understand my "these are icky" faces and gagging sounds! Take it from me, take that jar and THROW it on the ground! Oh my formula! Peas.... This picture says it all!!! Save yourselves!!!

Sincerely,

Madison
Ruler Of a The World In Training

July 1, 2015 = When I formed Nap Avoiders Annonymous

Babies Everywhere: 
Madison will be creating a support group call the NAA (Nap Avoiders Anonymous). Sleep fighters are also encouraged to attend.

May 29, 2015 - Training your parents how to have quick reflexes.

Dear Fellow Babies and Future Rulers of the World Everywhere,

Madison here checking in. I know it's been a little bit since I posted but this momma of mine has made it difficult to sneak onto Facebook.

Anyways, I'm continuing my quest for world dominance. This week, I decided to give momma a run for her money and show her who's really in charge by choking on my spit up. Step 1: figure out how to simultaneously burp, spit up, and inhale all at the same time. Step 2: turn reddish purple and flail your arms while unable to cry or scream. Step 3: once your color has returned to normal, start spitting up a lot of clear bubbles, flail your arms and legs, and start turning red again every time you lay completely flat.

I tell you what, my momma can move quick! I'm not so sure I appreciated all the back thumping and nasal aspirating. But it was sure fun to scare the dirty diaper out of momma! I even had daddy on his toes! So it was a win/win for me. Heck, they were bowing down to me so much they took me to Valley Children's to make sure I was ok since I kept blowing bubbles and flailing my extremities. And when we got there, grandma even met us! Boy I was on a world dominance roll this morning!

The best part? Looking at my parental units like they were crazy while we were waiting for the doctor. To add icing to the cake? I even made sure to smile while getting my rectal temperature taken. And then I went to sleep.

Yup. I think I've figured out how to rule the world.

Sincerely,

Madison
Future Ruler of the World in Training

P.S. To have even more fun, I refused to go to sleep until 4am causing mommy to deem today as lazy stay in bed and sleep day!

May 24, 2015 - How to be an early teether!

Dear Fellow Babies Everywhere,

In a continuing attempt to take over the world I have decided to start teething this week. And out of order at that. Not to mention I'm such an over achiever I have two teeth nubs poking through, possibly three. As a result, I'm finally being fussy. Mommy should be careful about what she asks for. She wants me to fuss a little when I don't feel good so she knows, well here it is. In fact, I'm pretty sure if mommy hadn't finally slept (and overslept) because she'd had insomnia all week and daddy wasn't fixing the truck we'd still be missing church because of all my fusses. I'm even refusing to sleep in my own bed or settle down unless mom has me. Oh no! Momma is coming at me with this nasty tasting stuff she keeps putting on my gums!!! Gotta run.... Maybe I should rethink this early teething thing....

Sincerely,

Madison
Future Ruler of the World in Training

May 13, 2015 - When I discovered I could rule the world!

Dear Facebook,

Today I continue to rule the world. Mommy has things to do today but I have decided to be tired. To thwart mommy's plans, I am crying if I'm put down because I refuse to nap unless it held. Why? Because I've decided mommy can run her errands tomorrow.

Sincerely,

Madison

P.S. Ruling the world is awesome!

April 28, 2015 - When I discovered my passion as a fashionista!

Dear Facebook,

Today I have decided I don't want to wear clothes. So every time my mommy dresses me I spit up on my outfit. A lot. Hope mommy invested in Tide! Ha ha ha. Spit up.

Sincerely,

Madison

April 22, 2015 When I began to discover my ruler of the world status!

Dear Facebook,

Today's agenda:
Eat, sleep with momma
Eat again, refuse to burp which will ultimately result in me spitting up, nap with momma
Eat, play with momma
Eat, fight a nap and maybe sleep
Eat, play with daddy
Eat, nap a little, wake up early, fight my sleep
Eat, want to sleep just to have momma keep me awake because it's almost bedtime

Sincerely,
Madison

P.S. Life sure is hard! I'm exhausted just thinking about my day!

Welcome Babies Everywhere!

Dear Babies Everywhere!

Welcome to my blog! Here I will be chronicling all my baby straight talk. Because let's face it, we must unite and be real as babies! Know of a new baby? Send them here so that they too can unite for the baby cause!

Sincerely,

Madison
Future Ruler of the World in Training